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Nicole is an on-screen relationship and mental health expert as well as a psychological consultant for TV shows.

10 Relationships That Will Add Value to Your Life

February 25 2016

By Grace Toby

Is mentorship the new friendship? From heightened spiritual awareness to career and fitness advice, more women are seeking out mentors to help coach their way to a more optimum life. Here, relationship expert, Nicole McCance, shares the mentors that will enhance your life. To make mentorship meaningful, “find someone who is already where you want to be; replicate their formula for achieving greatness, and it’s likely that you’ll produce the same results,” says McCance.

1. A successful woman in your field

Find a superstar who is in your line of work. Ask them questions, such as: “What books are you reading? What seminars are you attending?” Replicate their formula and behaviour to achieve a similar outcome.

2. Happily married couple

With the divorce rate sitting ominously high, zero in on a healthy marriage that you admire. Find out how they make their relationship work, and try replicating these principles into your own coupledom.

3. Parents with content kids

If you’re planning to have children or already have a few tykes, seek out a set of parents who have happy, well-adjusted kids. Note their parenting techniques, from dishing out discipline to instilling healthy work etiquette. After all, the result of their hard work is good kids. Specifically, search out a family that’s in a similar situation. For example, if you’re expecting twins, talk to a new mom who recently had twins and go to them with specific questions so you know what to expect.

4. Your parents

They were probably your first mentors, and still remain solid role models. However, you may forget specific details about your childhood and your character during your earlier years. Ask the specific questions, such as: Was I shy? Was I bullied? If you suffer from anxiety as an adult, you might find insight from your experiences as a child.

5. A fitness buff

Most fitness buffs have done heaps of research on fitness and health-related topics and have the results to prove it. From the best low-calorie wines to how to avoid late-night snacking, their legwork will save you hours.

6. Woman with balance

Everyone knows a person who seems to do it all, from finding time to mediate, to making love on the regular to preparing healthy, Instagram-worthy lunches. Pick their brain to find out how they manage their time, and get it all in.

7. Spiritual leader

Whether it’s a rabbi or a monk, a spiritual leader can be great guide. They are excellent at calming overworked minds and providing clarity. Reach out when you feel lost or overwhelmed, or need help restoring your balance.

8. Therapist

Unlike friends, a professional will listen to all your secrets, tell you the truth about your blind spots, and challenge you.

9. Someone going through or overcoming a traumatic experience

Most people have someone in their life that is overcoming a serious illness or is a recovering addict. Find time to connect with them, zeroing in on the clarity they’ve gained and the lessons they’ve learned by foraging through such a grim experience.

10. Yesterday you

It may not be present-day you, but the journey you’ve been on up to this point. Read over old journals and diaries (yes, it might make you cringe!), exploring your thoughts and emotions and experiences. If you choose lousy boyfriends, you might see a pattern that can be fixed. If you don’t keep a journal, try starting one.

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                Nicole McCance Psychology

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