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Nicole is an on-screen relationship and mental health expert as well as a psychological consultant for TV shows.

9 ways couples can spice up their Valentine’s Day

9 ways couples can spice up their Valentine’s Day

February 09 2018

By Dani-Elle Dube,

For new couples, celebrating Valentine’s Day can be exciting. For more seasoned couples, however, it can sometimes feel like the celebrations have become a little stale – perhaps even downright boring and predictable.

If you’re experiencing the latter and Valentine’s Day just doesn’t seem to have the same kick as it once did at the beginning of your relationship, maybe it’s time to spice things up a bit and bring back that magic.

According to a recent survey of 2,000 Americans by Groupon, one in four couples feel that their Valentine’s Day celebrations have become boring, the New York Post reports.

Furthermore, while 80 per cent say they’ll still partake in the day, 53 per cent say they feel they’ve been celebrating it the exact same way they’ve always celebrated it with their partners.

There’s a few reasons why this boredom may exist, relationship expert Chantal Heide of Canada’s Dating Coach, says.

“First, it’s because they’re doing the same routine year after year without changing the reason why,” she says. “Those first few Valentine’s Day dinners felt meaningful because they were signs that your relationship was enduring the test of time. But once those first few are behind you, it’s time to apply a deeper significance if you’re going to keep celebrating that particular date.”

Then there’s the stressful task of finding that meaningful gift from the heart, she adds, especially for men who feel the pressure to rise up to sometimes unrealistic expectations.

Despite those potential feelings, however, it’s essential that couples realize the importance of showing their appreciation and affection to their partner – not just on Valentine’s Day, but all year round, relationship expert Nicole McCance says.

“I’m a true believer that frequent date nights every two weeks are really key, especially if you have kids, because you need to get out of the mundane parenting [that you do] all the time,” McCance says. “Just know that buying flowers and going out for dinner is not enough to stay in a relationship. Your partner needs to feel that they matter, they’re important, and that they’re a top priority in your life to keep that relationship satisfaction high.”

So to help bored couples find that spark in Valentine’s Day again, Heide and McCance offer some ways in which you can spice up your celebrations.

Do a Love Language quiz
This will help couples better understand how to express their love for each other, Heide says.

“People interpret love in different ways, so understanding your partner’s particular method means you’ll be able to make them feel even more loved than before, making the next 365 days better than the last 365,” she says.

Book a couple’s therapeutic getaway
The trip doesn’t have to happen on Feb. 14, but you can book it and choose a pace together on that day, Heide suggests. This type of trip will help couples dig deep and develop more love and intimacy in the relationship.

Go for a romantic drive
Turn up the heat and get a little adventurous by taking a drive out to a nice scenic place where the two of you can be alone together, McCance suggests.

Turn off the music, discuss your romantic fantasies and really focus on one another, and don’t be afraid to take the opportunity to get a little intimate, McCance adds.

Write a healing letter to work through issues
“Sometimes people try to use Valentine’s Day as a Band-Aid,” Heide says. “Instead, use it to go deeper and heal. Intimacy is developed through trust, so make this a date where you open up and trust each other more with your feelings.”

Meet them for the first time all over again
Pick each other up, McCance suggests.

Go separately and meet your partner at a bar or lounge. Approach them and offer them a drink and see where the night leads you, she says.

“You can even surprise them with booking a hotel room,” McCance says. “Stay up late and enjoy each other for the rest of the night.”

Try something different
Get both you and your partner out of your comfort zones and try something you both haven’t done before, Heide suggests.

Ask friends to write suggestions down on paper, put those suggestions into a bowl and pick one out. Whatever you pick will be the new thing you both try together.

Recreate your first date
“Think back to all the activities you did and go to that restaurant and try to even get the very table where you first laid eyes on each other,” McCance says. “And whatever you did after dinner, do that exact thing.”

This can be a very special thing to do especially if you feel the relationship has become a bit rocky, McCance adds, as it brings you back to the good old days.

Make a bucket list together
Once a list is made, pick something to check off this year, Heide says, then come up with a plan that’ll get you accomplishing it.

“Working together towards common goals is bonding for couples, and exciting when the goal is something that creates mutual fun,” she says.

From bedroom to fantasy room
For this idea, you don’t even need to leave the house. The idea is to have everything you both want and need in your bedroom.

This is also a great idea if money is a bit of an issue, McCance says.

Decorate the bedroom and really set the romantic tone within the room. Light candles, sprinkle rose petals on the bed, have strawberries nearby ready to eat – whatever you think will set the mood and get your honey swooning.

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                Nicole McCance Psychology

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