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Nicole is an on-screen relationship and mental health expert as well as a psychological consultant for TV shows.

Sex In Your 20s – What Every Woman Should Know (And Talk About)

January 23 2018

By Angela Serednicki

Sex in your 20s can be amazing. But it can also be confusing, risky and emotional. The decade is too short for bad sex. So read this.

Sex in your 20s is great… but there is more you should know
There’s no decade quite like your 20s. Whether you’re happily single, casually dating or are in a committed relationship, there’s no doubt that it is a time filled of change and growth. But sex in your 20s can also be a bit overwhelming. But it doesn’t need to be.

A twenty-something’s sex life to feel like a rollercoaster ride sometimes. This is why we asked the experts about what every woman in her 20s should know about sex and dating. Read on to find out their best tips for having the amazing sex in your 20s.

Find the best long-acting, reversible birth control for you
One of the most important things a woman in her 20s can do for her sex life is find a long-acting, reversible contraception that best suits her body and her lifestyle.

Dr. Wendy Norman, family physician and associate professor at The University of British Columbia’s School of Population and Public Health, recommends copper or levonorgestrel-releasing intrauterine devices (IUDs), or a contraceptive implant. This is because statistics show that they’re the most effective reversible birth control methods, which is often the most popular choice for women in their 20s.

Be honest about your sexual history
If you haven’t had sex yet, or feel that you’re sexually inexperienced, the most important thing is not to be ashamed, says Nicole McCance, a Toronto-based registered psychologist and relationship expert.

Your partner will respect you for being open and honest with them.

“The person you’re with would most likely see it as a good thing – they can do all their firsts with you,” she explains.

As with any conversation about sex, McCance suggests talking to your partner about this before you’re in the bedroom together.

On this note, if you are sexually active, it’s important to get tested for sexually transmitted infections regularly or after having unprotected sex. (Yes, that includes oral sex.)

According to the National Coalition for Sexual Health, women between the ages of 21 and 25 should be screened for chlamydia and gonorrhea annually. Women over 25 should continue being screened for both sexually transmitted infections (STIs) if they have new or multiple partners, or engage in unprotected sex. If you test positive, it’s important to let both your past and present partners know.

For better sex in your 20s, turn to this secret weapon
If you’re in need of a confidence boost in the bedroom, the answer could be as easy as turning to your favourite lingerie. Eighty per cent of Canadian women claim that a beautiful set of bra and panties makes them feel confident and sexy, according to a 2017 Angus Reid Forum poll, commissioned by Sears Canada. And as everyone knows, confidence is the key to amazing sex.

“Lingerie is such a sensual and personal addition to your wardrobe. When you have a style that shows off your body and is made with soft and delicate fabrics, it naturally brings out your confidence wherever you wear it,” says Erin Sue, the managing director of lace.ca, a budget-friendly lingerie company.

Don’t make this rookie dating mistake
According to McCance, one of the biggest dating mistakes people in their 20s make is not being honest about wanting to be in a relationship. It is that too many women convince themselves that a casual relationship will eventually lead to a commit, even though who they are seeing have said otherwise.

“The moral of the story is: Listen,” she says. If they tell you they want something causal, that actually means they want something casual. “Don’t get caught up in the romance and feel like you’re going to change that. You will be broken-hearted.”

For great sex in your 20s, say what you want in bed
Whether casually dating or in a committed relationship, it’s important to communicate your sexual needs.

“A good sex life starts with being courageous and opening up to your partner,” says McCance. Conversations about your sex life should be ongoing and not reserved for your anniversary or Valentines’ Day.

Although it might be awkward at first, when you’re feeling safe and secure enough to vocalize your wants and needs to your partner, there’s no limit to how incredibly satisfying your sex life can become.

Know that emergency contraception won’t make you unable to have children later
Accidents happen. And when they do, know that taking emergency contraception (EC) is a safe way to prevent pregnancy. (And, despite what you may have seen on Black Mirror, EC doesn’t terminate a pregnancy, but prevents a pregnancy.)

“Science has clearly determined that the emergency contraceptive pills do not affect a woman’s ability to become pregnant in her next cycle or in any of her future cycles,” says Norman. This is because EC acts to delay ovulation for that specific cycle, which means taking the pill no long lasting effect on other cycles or a woman’s overall fertility.

EC pills are effective within five days after unprotected intercourse. And if you’re already pregnant, emergency contraception will have no effect on you.

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                Nicole McCance Psychology

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