I’ve seen a theme in my practice around clients afraid to experience happiness.
Many people only allow themselves to experience happiness for a short period of time because happiness can feel uncomfortable. It’s almost as if they’ve been programmed, since childhood, to think something bad will happen every time they relax and enjoy life.
The two emotions human beings feel easily are feeling neutral and feeling bad.
We are extremely good at suffering and we’re good at feeling bad. Think about it, how much time do you spend worrying? This is why you may use addictions like food, sex, shopping and alcohol.
You may use these addictions to numb yourself.
The fear of being happy comes from past experiences. If you were really happy and the rug was ripped from under you, it may teach you to not be happy because when you’re happy, you’re also vulnerable to getting hurt. Happiness somehow feels unsafe.
Even people who haven’t had a traumatic childhood, and instead enjoyed a normal childhood, have such memories. Think about when you were a kid and blissfully rode your bike; then suddenly hit a pothole and flew over the two-wheeler, injuring yourself. Or think of the little messages your parents gave you – you’re happy one minute, playing in your room and then your mom storms in and yells about something you did yesterday.
You want happiness but it can feel uncomfortable. You feel quite vulnerable when you are happy and it feels more comfortable to strive for this happiness than to actually achieve it.
When you find yourself buy xanax online no rx happily enjoying simple things like sitting by the lake and dancing, notice what happens. These moments when you’re calm, content and actually happy, usually only last five minutes. Your subconscious mind and the part of you that gets a little uncomfortable when you are relaxed and content, starts thinking about something negative or even causes a headache. Most people will start worrying about something before they realize it.
Spend some time doing the following:
- Learning the root cause of your unhappiness
- Practicing being happy for long periods (when you start worrying about something, observe whether you can reconnect to feeling happy)
- Breathing and connecting with your body in those moments when you feel at ease
- Sitting with this positive energy you feel
- Intentionally heightening the positive energy you feel
This may sound shocking, but at the core of this subconscious fear of happiness is also a subconscious belief about ‘deservedness’ and worth. Almost all of us subconsciously feel we are worthless and don’t deserve happiness.
And it’s everywhere. It doesn’t matter how successful the person. Those who are driven are just as afraid of happiness; they use work to find their worth.
Once you get to the core, you can heal the past by forgiving yourself and those who have hurt you. You will find self-love and acceptance. Only after you feel you deserve to be happy, can you actually feel happy for long periods of time. Until you heal, the happiness you are striving for will only last five minutes because you’ll ruin it.
Learn to love yourself, it’s the key to being happy.