It is human nature for any woman to be attracted to a man who is too busy for them. Being busy and out in the world is a masculine quality, and most women are attracted to it. I’ve seen exceptional, confident and amazing women triggered by men because they doesn’t get a text from him. So why do we put up with this and how does it affect us
There is a lure towards a guy who gives you sporadic attention. The guy who always gives you attention becomes predictable and it feels less special. But when the guy who only sends you a text every other day messages you, you feel special!
A woman will start questioning whether it’s her as to why he doesn’t text and then question her self-worth and whether she is good enough. She can get obsessed and attached to whether he’ll text and forget whether she is really into him.
As a psychotherapist, I witness many clients getting obsessed with checking their phones and having tons of conversations around why ‘he’ hasn’t called. This happens even though she can do way better. Many women, feel this underlying emotion of not being good enough. Due to whatever happened during childhood: bullying, parents that were abusive or parents that were loving but unavailable.
We all have this underlying I’m-not-good-enough feeling. So whenever we have someone in our life who doesn’t call us back, it triggers our questions on whether there is something wrong with us. We start questioning our worth. We begin to get attached to whether he is going to text. We begin to put meaning on his call. We think he isn’t buy xanax online mastercard interested when instead he is just busy.
When obsessing about this guy not getting back to you:
- Realize that it’s more about the texting
- It has to do with your self-concept, self-confidence and self-esteem
You might be a self-confident person but self-esteem different. Self-esteem is feeling worthwhile and good enough. Self-confidence is confidence in knowing you’re good in a certain area but as a person you might believe you are somehow flawed. The latter is self-esteem.
If you are the type of woman who obsesses, talk to a therapist about your self-worth.
If you get your self-worth to a certain level and he doesn’t text you, then you won’t be bothered because you have self-love and worthiness to rely on. You’ll recognize that you have great qualities and that his lack of calling is his issue.
But if you have any type of fragility in your own self-esteem and he doesn’t text, you’re going to take it personally. We don’t take things personally when we completely love ourselves.
Take time to realize why you are obsessing over this. Call a therapist to work on your own self-esteem. Realize that you are making the problem about you and it isn’t about you at all.
Sometimes we need to reach out to someone else to remind us of this. Feel free to call for a free consultation if you think you would benefit from speaking to a professional. We are here to help. You are not alone. Sometimes it just takes a few sessions to learn new ways of being you.